Saying that still doesn’t get old:
That time I was a professional plus sized model.
Being a plus sized woman (really plus, size 24), that’s not a statement many of us get to say. I’ve always been into fashion, makeup, beauty, etc. When I was younger, I wanted to be a professional model. I guess I secretly still do.
When you have been severely obese for close to 10 years, you lose a lot of confidence. You want to hide and disappear.
To some extent, I did do that. For the first few years, I hid. I cried. I locked myself away. I stayed in an unhealthy relationship because I didn’t think I could do any better, that no one else would ever want me.
Then I got a job at Lane Bryant. I was suddenly surrounded by beautiful clothes and so many women my size dressing up but not seeing their self-worth. It broke my heart. There was a moment when I realized that I was just like them! I knew I needed a change, so that’s what I did.
I eventually left that relationship and went on to become a manager at Lane Bryant. I worked for that company for four years before I had my baby in November 2015, and made it a personal mission to help women realize that they were beautiful. They were worth something.
Becoming the Plus Sized Model
Knowing that I had confidence that soared now, my Grandmother messaged me a few months ago. She told me that a boutique in a nearby town was looking for models for their spring line. The boutique, Red Apple Boutique, carries sizes small to 3x.
I hesitated at first. Even with all of my confidence, I still wondered if I’d be good enough. Finally I said, “Why not?” What could I possibly lose by not being chosen. My life would go on.
Ha! I bet that surprised you! Alas, I was not chosen for the photo shoot. My (extremely attractive) Grandma did though, so I had no time to dwell on my failure because I had to celebrate her success.
Change of Plans
Close to the time the photo shoot was scheduled, I learned that one of the models had cancelled. To my surprise, I was asked to be her replacement.
At first I thought they might have felt obligated because I was going to go to the shoot anyway to support my Grandma and it might be a bit awkward. I learned that this wasn’t the case but it wouldn’t have mattered to me anyway. I was just so excited to be a model with my Grandma.
Preparation
Getting ready for that event was one of the most exciting moments in my life. I packed the night before. I needed to provide my own shoes (hello big feet!) and I wanted to wear my Spanx. I wanted to bring some supplemental jewelry, all of my makeup “just in case”, five pairs of shoes (options!), some bandaids in case someone got hurt… etc. The list went on and on and was filled with lots of unnecessary stuff, but I packed with so much care.
That night, I barely slept at all because I was filled with so much hopeful anticipation. What would it be like? Would the other models be nice? Would I look stupid because I was the only “fat” girl there? Thankfully, my Grandma was going to be there, so I knew that regardless of what happened, I would have a built in support system.
That morning, I styled my hair and makeup far superior than I ever had done before. I rode up to the shoot with my Grandma and as soon as we got out of the city, I decided to let go of any worry. I needed to shake off any self-doubt because I had worked so hard to get to the point I am at today….
Big girls can be models too! Click To TweetThe Shoot
… and you know what? It. was. a. blast. It just happened to be freezing cold but we were all having so much fun. The atmosphere was so relaxed. Honestly, it felt like we were all hanging out and someone was just casually taking photos. You know, like a family member would do at a family gathering?
The experience was so overwhelmingly positive for my self-image, too. I had just had a baby four months prior to the photo shoot and we all know how weird postpartum bodies can be.
I also made new friends. I made friends with the other models. I made friends with the boutique owners. I made a connection because now when they need a model, they give me a call.
Chase Your Dreams, Girl
I suppose the point I want to drive home is: don’t give up. I know, it sounds cheesy. You hear it a lot. But seriously, if I had hid in the shadows and not put myself out there, I would have missed out on this amazing opportunity.
I want all of my potential plus sized models out there to take note of this too: You absolutely 1000% can do it. You can be a plus sized model. You can be anything you want to be. You are beautiful and special. Reach for the stars and maybe one day I will be reading about your modeling experience.
Do you have any cool modeling stories yourself? Is being a model something you’ve wanted to do before? Leave a comment for me. I want to hear your story.
I feel so inspired! Emily has shown me that I can achieve my dreams no matter what I look like. http://bit.ly/edl-psm Click To Tweet
![Introducing The Beautify Quotes Project + $1250 Cash Giveaway [ENDED]](http://emilydoeslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/introducing-the-beautify-quotes-project-plus-1250-cash-giveaway-150x225.jpg)
Before my dark moments, I wanted to be an actress, namely a Broadway singer. After high school, I lost touch with myself and kinda put that passion on the backburner. I don’t think I could do it now because my anxiety is at a high, but 10 years ago, I wish I would’ve just went for it.
I realllly think you could still do it, Nat. My anxiety high was around 16-19 years of age for me and it truly is crippling, but you can’t let it define your life! I heart you!
What a beautiful story – raw and transparent. Thank you for being butler able to share this!
Aww, thanks Carrie! I was hoping it would come across that way. I felt quite vulnerable writing it.
Good for you! I’m glad you were able to realize your dream. You are gorgeous and the shop was lucky to have you as a model!
Tricia, you’re making me blush! Thanks girl!!
What an inspiring story. I will share it on my GrownGals page because I know a lot of midlife women find themselves getting bigger and it really damages their self-esteem. My mother was (and is) a larger lady so I know how she struggles with self-image. But she is beautiful and so are you. X
Thanks so much Avril. I love helping women see their worth. For the fourth year I worked for Lane Bryant’s corporate company I actually was the Assistant Store Manager at Catherine’s in my city. The clientele was more mature than at Lane Bryant, so I helped a TON of women that not only were upset about being big, they were going over that mid-life “hump” so they felt like it was even worse by being “old”.
I always told them they weren’t old until they were 90 and that they looked fabulous. They left knowing it was true and that was so rewarding for me.
I love this story. I read things like this and get so envious of your confidence. I hope to find my own confidence some day soon.
Aww Jamie, it totally wasn’t an easy journey. I won’t lie! But once it hits.. you sit back and say, “Damn that feels good.” I can’t wait for you to feel that!
I know this is a couple years old but I ran acrossed it when I was looking for advice on hair color issues. I decided to read this as becoming a model has always been a dream of mine also. I have a terrible self image, any confidence I have or seem to have is a facade. I used to be a size 24 but due to a heart condition I needed to lose weight fast or according to my dr I “would be dead in a year” that was in 2011 so, in 2012 I had gastric sleeve surgery and I’m now size 11. Even at a smaller size I have no confidence except for what I pretend to have. Losing 125lbs has left me with other “issues” that are VERY expensive and painful to fix. I admire your confidence and strength. All women should have it. Sadly that’s not the case. I’ve made it a personal goal whenever I go out to compliment at least 1 woman. The smile and thanks from them makes me feel like I’ve done something for all women, maybe the woman I complimented will compliment someone else that night just because I did it for her.
Brandi,
I’m sorry to hear you are still struggling with self-esteem issues. It is something almost everyone struggles with but most of us don’t like to talk about it. I’m happy that you were able to get healthier (I’m still riding the plus size train girl!) but I understand how much of a mental hold body image issues take. The joy you are spreading to other women is so loving and thoughtful of you, and I know you’re definitely making a difference in their lives. Keep doing what you’re doing but make it a point to say that to yourself once a day too, girl! You should never feel ashamed of liking something about yourself. Dying my hair and pampering myself are some of the ways I feel more confident, so I hope your hair dye experience went well.
Thanks so much for your comment <3
Hi I’m Elishia I’ve never been small even when I was smaller lol however I’ve always love shoes and makeup I’ve thought of being a plus size model throughout my life however life does like throwing curve balls so about 6 years ago in February I was diagnosed with a particular type of heart disease you know those story’s you hear of one in so many thousands yep I’ve been that 1 three times now I’ll be 37 this year and have had 7 surgerys since I was 30 heart only and Were not done yet,And I’ve kinda let go of thoughts of modeling considering all the scars. However thank you for mentioning your time of lane bryant after reading you post I went in to one for the first time and OMG the pepole were so nice and helped me over a hour to find a bra that fit without hurting my heart scar and it made me feel like a person again like I was pretty again thank you